I meet with a group of older gentlemen for coffee every morning. Grass and equipment to cut it are a favorite topic of conversation. My story is not 100 percent true, but it is food for thought.
It has dawned on me recently that grass has gradually taken over my life. It constantly demands more money and time. I have made a decision to end its tyranny. Of course, I am not talking about the leaves that you smoke, but the little green blade in my yard. In order to keep up with “The Joneses,” I bought some very-expensive grass seed and spread it around. When that didn’t produce the desired results, I fed it with lawn fertilizer, and then, added herbicides to control weeds. When I was successful, I had, as the finished product, a beautiful lawn of lush grass which I gazed on with pride until the drought hit. I then brought out the sprinklers and added many dollars to my water bill. When green again, it will need to be cut every week. Then, I had to buy a better lawnmower and spend a lot of time pushing it. I am not alone; as a general rule, in my neighborhood from sunrise to dusk, I can hear a lawn mower being operated by someone who is a slave to grass. If our lawn is a big one, we will need a riding mower, which can cost several thousand dollars. Of course, if you are in the upper-income brackets, you can hire all these jobs done. If we calculate how much money is spent by each household every year and multiply that by the number of homes in this country, the figure would be astronomical. That does not even count the lawns on public and private facilities such as schools. Wouldn’t it be a great idea to do away with grass and give that money to the poor, or apply it to the national debt?
You might ask, “What am I going to do about it?” My strategy is simple: I’m going to do away with grass. I’m doing it by slowly encroaching on its territory. Whenever I have the opportunity, I plant a dwarf fruit tree or some blackberry or blueberry bushes. These are mulched heavily so that no grass grows near them. I am hoping, over time, I will be able to cover the entire yard with them. When my neighbors are busy with their lawn work, I’ll be sitting back enjoying a bowl of fresh blueberries from my yard.
Bill Benton
Dover
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